How to Know When It Might Be Time for Couples Therapy
You don’t need to be at breaking point to consider couples therapy. In fact, many couples come much earlier than that — when something feels off, but they’re not quite sure how to name it.
Often, it starts quietly. A sense of distance. Conversations that feel harder than they used to. The same disagreements resurfacing again and again. We tell ourselves it’s just stress, a busy season, a phase that will pass. And sometimes it is.
But sometimes it’s a sign that your relationship could use a little care and attention.
So how do you know when it might be time to talk to someone together?
You keep having the same argument
Perhaps the details change, but the feeling doesn’t. Whether it’s about money, intimacy, parenting, or feeling unsupported, it can start to feel like you’re going round in circles.
Often, these recurring arguments aren’t really about the surface issue at all. Couples therapy can help uncover what’s happening underneath — the unmet needs, fears, or patterns that keep pulling you back into the same place.
You’re not arguing… but you’re not connecting either
Some couples worry because they argue too much. Others worry because they don’t argue at all.
If difficult topics are being avoided, if you feel more like housemates than partners, or if things feel emotionally flat or distant, that can also be a sign something needs attention. Therapy can offer a safe space to gently open up conversations that feel too hard to have alone.
You’re caught in a pattern you can’t seem to shift
You may already recognise it: one of you reaches out, the other withdraws. One pushes for answers, the other shuts down. You’ve named the pattern, you both dislike it — and yet it keeps happening.
This is very common. Couples therapy focuses on these cycles, helping you understand them and find new ways of responding that feel more supportive and connected.
Something significant has happened (or is about to)
Life events can place unexpected strain on even the strongest relationships. A new baby. A move. A change in work. Bereavement. Illness. Big transitions can shift roles, routines, and emotional needs.
Couples therapy can help you navigate these changes together, rather than feeling like you’re coping alone or pulling in different directions.
Things are “okay” — but you want more than okay
Therapy isn’t only for relationships in crisis. Some couples come because they want to strengthen what they already have: to communicate more openly, feel closer, or invest in their relationship for the long term.
Seeing a therapist can be a proactive choice — a way of nurturing your relationship rather than waiting until it feels damaged.
So… Is It Time?
Couples therapy isn’t about fixing one person or deciding who’s right. It’s about creating space for the relationship itself — a place where both of you can speak, be heard, and begin to understand each other more deeply.
If you’re wondering whether couples therapy might help, that curiosity alone is often worth listening to.
At Serendipity Counselling, we offer a calm, supportive space to explore what’s happening in your relationship, at a pace that feels right for you both. Whether you’re feeling stuck, disconnected, or simply wanting to reconnect, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
If you’d like to find out more, we’re here when you’re ready, contact us to arrange a free, initial telephone consultation. We can talk through the issues that are being experienced and how we can help. To get in touch contact us at admin@serendipityyork.co.uk.
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