Anger can be difficult to manage and can have devastating effects on both home and work life. At Serendipity Counselling York we have successfully worked with clients to understand and manage their anger. Clients range from teens to successful business professionals, and all have benefitted from our non judgemental and empathic therapeutic approach to Anger Management. It’s ok to be angry, and it’s an emotion that you can learn to manage. Here are our top tips to understand and manage anger:
It’s a myth that people ‘just explode’ with no warning. It may be that there were simmering emotions you were unaware of and one final irritant causes a loss of control. Once that happens your body physically reacts to the response triggered in your brain and releases adrenaline and cortisol. This floods the body and gets ready your fight/flight response. Hence why it can take time to calm down after an angry outburst, sometimes hours. Recognising the early stages of the physical response can help you remove or distract yourself from a potentially angry event. Notice your breathing patterns, are you clenching your hands or shoulders or perhaps they are becoming sweaty? Are you finding it difficult to focus? These may be signs that once noticed, can be acted on. Perhaps take time out from a situation, go for a walk, even around the block can help. Exercise is one of the best ways to help your body get rid of the physiological effects of anger.
Know your Hot Spots
Are there regular times in your day that anger you? Perhaps getting the family ready and out the door in the morning or your daily commute? Being aware of your Hot Spots means you can do something about them. Would a change in routine help everyone in the morning? Can you work together instead of getting into conflict about something that irritates you every day? Take time to look at your daily or weekly routine and pick a few Hot Spots to work on. Can you avoid or resolve what going on to bring a sense of resolution or calm to a situation – probably, if you try! Taking time to look at every day irritants can help improve home/work life.
Find your Calm Spots
You probably already know ways you like to relax. Things you enjoy, which bring a sense of calm and well being. These Calm Spots are integral to Anger Management. You can move off the Hot Spots into the Calm Spots to reduce your emotional response – anger – to a situation. Think about how you relax best. Exercise can definitely help, listening to music, taking the dog for a long walk or having a shower all all examples of what has helped people manage their anger. Developing deep breathing techniques works – try using apps such as Headspace or Happy Not Perfect to try these out.
If you try all these self care tools and they don’t seen to work it may be you need to talk through things. Family or friends can be a source of support but if you would like to talk to someone who understands and has experience of working with anger – give us a call. We would be happy to talk through how we can help you understand and manager your anger better in the future.
If you feel you are doing this would like someone to talk to, please contact us to arrange a free initial telephone consultation. We can talk through how counselling can help you and if you decide to book in we can usually arrange an appointment within a few days. Visit our website http://www.serendipityyork.co.uk for more information, contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07403 307 294